ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
