just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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