She tied me up with her honor cords...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
last night I used snow as a chaser
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