I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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