So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
