Tell her she can't have a vagina
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My bed is full of blood and feathers
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
