I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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