Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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