dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
