i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
