You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
