Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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