Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize