Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
