Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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