1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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