What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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