batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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