hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
