I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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