hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
