Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My dad is sitting where you rode me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
