i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
