I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
