People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
