I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
