i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
