somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
