i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
