He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
