Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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