Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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