Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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