I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
