last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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