Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
