Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
