Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
