That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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