So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I had to cum in my sink.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
