So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
