Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
