:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
