You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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