Im at strip club and am horny
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
