do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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