I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
