This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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