if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
