I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize