I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
