Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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