told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
