guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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