i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
