she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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