I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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