Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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