UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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