Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
