I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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