No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just invented taco cereal.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
