I want to stick my p in your. b.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
