It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
