I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
