Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
